The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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