You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
