i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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