and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
