Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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