I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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