I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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