my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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