I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I look better un-naked...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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