Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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