Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
