It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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