i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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