you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize