you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
