What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
