I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
