whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
