I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
