When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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