Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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