We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
