Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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