they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
