susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
