I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
