pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
