I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
barbara walters just said penis...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
