he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
