My brain says no but my pants say off.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
