You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
