I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
