...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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