My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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