Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.