he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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