when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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