This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
