he shaved USA in his pubs
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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