All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
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If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
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I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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