So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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