i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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