Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
