Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
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