Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
