Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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