i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
