just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
