dude i'm inner monologue high
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
should my penis look like a turkey
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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