My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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