i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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