His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
