I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize