it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
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