We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
