ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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