my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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