Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize