he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
